Silent Night My Ass Sarcasticandle

Nothing “silent” about Aunt Linda’s opinions or your cousin’s new karaoke machine. This candle is the scent of survival, a festive blend of peppermint, vanilla bean, and pine, designed to mask the smell of burned cookies and bad decisions. It’s minty fresh, slightly sweet, and strong enough to outlast your family’s group chat drama. Light it up, breathe deep, and pretend you didn’t just hear another political argument. It’s the holiday aromatherapy you didn’t know you needed but definitely do. Perfect for gifting, coping, or silently judging from across the room. 

Ingredients: Soy blend wax, fragrance and/or essential oils, wooden wick.

Some batches may contain colorant and biodegradable glitter. 

How to Use: Trim wick to ¼” before lighting, it’s not rocket science. Burn for 2–4 hours while ignoring family drama or existential dread. Keep away from drafts, kids, and anyone who says “let’s play a game!” after dinner.

🚫 Warning: May cause spontaneous eyerolls, unfiltered thoughts, and unbothered holiday vibes.